"As shown by this other chart, public approval of Ms. Spears is up roughly 1 trillion percent over this time last year, though to properly explain the methodology would require one of those nerdy laser-pointer thingies Al Gore uses, so you'll just have to trust me."
In the Los Angeles Times, Joel Stein channels Gen. David Petraeus reporting to congress about the condition of Britney Spears's career.
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