"EPA Shuts Down Local Ghost-Entrapment Business"

"The EPA has reportedly angered some local officials who claim the agency rushed to shut down the facility. According to Capt. Kevin Houlihan of NYPD's 5th Precinct, paranormal disturbances in Manhattan have increased exponentially since the decision was made to seize the operation. Houlihan cited several instances of blood running down walls, canines and felines cohabitating peacefully, and, perhaps most alarming, the potential for 'mass hysteria.'"

From The Onion.