"Last Time Sources Checked This Still America"

"'You know, I seem to recall a whole lot of our young men dying so that we could have these many liberties we enjoy,' Rebecca Treeman, a Miami-area mother of four, told reporters. 'So excuse me if I don't jump with joy every time I see someone trashing the red, white, and blue.'
Treeman went on to explain that these colors, which make up the American flag, do not run."

From The Onion, 2010.