"Ask A Freshman English Class Going Around The Room And Saying A Little Bit About Themselves"

"Confidential To Tormented In Tempe:
"Well, it looks like it's my turn now. Okay. My name's Jim Morse. You can call me Professor Morse or Jim. Either one is fine. In fact, why don't you call me Jim? I think that would be easier. I went to Syracuse for undergrad and Virginia for grad. I suppose a fact about me is that I've had several poems published in various journals. I'm actually doing a reading of my poems at Espresso Royale this Friday, so you should all come out. It'd be great to see you there. A fun fact about me? I also saw The Avengers this summer, and I'd love to talk about that and anything else that's on your mind during my office hours. You can find those listed on the syllabus, which I'm just passing around now."

From The Onion.