"While the precise origins of Reince Priebus remain shrouded in mystery, it is widely believed he was conjured by ancient druids from fire and untaxed business profits to serve as an eternal protector of corporate interests and lax weapons laws. According to Bissell, ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs provide the first known depiction of the being: a miniature pointy-eared figure who advised pharaohs and who, according to lore, was revered as a god for his advocacy of a robust national defense and Egyptian exceptionalism.
"Additionally, writings about an oily elfin deceiver known as 'the Prybus' have placed the legendary creature in the Irish midlands in the 16th century, alongside emperors of China’s Tang Dynasty, among the Austrian Habsburgs, and within the Roman court of Pompey, where he allegedly solidified a place as a valued aide with his ability to secure limitless campaign contributions."
From The Onion.
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