"'Our worst monthly drop; rate cuts make investors flee—to commodities,' Nikkei Index vice commissioner Fukako Mishima said, claiming job creation by Mitsubishi, Kawasaki Heavy Industries, and Sony failed to provide confidence in a market already as skittish as the aging husband of a teenage bride, forcing investors to shore up cash reserves with orders of durable goods and agricultural products. 'Fading dollar's gleam, a feeble warning beacon: Seek bellies of pork.'"
From The Onion.
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