A couple of classics from The Onion:
Roof On Fire Claims Lives Of 43 Party People
37 Record-Store Clerks Feared Dead In Yo La Tengo Concert Disaster
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"[L]et a crown be placed thereon, by which the world may know, that so far as we approve of monarchy, that in America the law is king. For as in absolute governments the King is law, so in free countries the law ought to be king; and there ought to be no other." --Thomas Paine, 1776
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