"Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In"

"'Perhaps the new bubble could have something to do with watching movies on cell phones,' said investment banker Greg Carlisle of the New York firm Carlisle, Shaloe & Graves. 'Or, say, medicine, or shipping. Or clouds. The manner of bubble isn't important—just as long as it creates a hugely overvalued market based on nothing more than whimsical fantasy and saddled with the potential for a long-term accrual of debts that will never be paid back, thereby unleashing a ripple effect that will take nearly a decade to correct.'
"'The U.S. economy cannot survive on sound investments alone,' Carlisle added."

From The Onion.