"Mr. Autumn Man Walking Down Street With Cup Of Coffee, Wearing Sweater Over Plaid Collared Shirt"

"'Nothing beats autumn in New England,' said His Excellency, the Duke of Fall, who began the day swaddled in a warm flannel blanket, gazing out the window at the golden-hued landscape, as is his custom this time of year. 'Everywhere the leaves are changing and the temperature is starting to drop off. You can smell it in the air.'
"'Tonight it may even dip into the 30s,' added the cozy autumnal personage, who at several points wrapped both hands around his warm container of coffee and inhaled deeply. 'Perfect weather for building a fire.'"

From The Onion.