"'There are some who believe the perfect school district does not exist—that it is just an old tale handed down in whispered tones at PTA meetings and Kaplan Test Prep centers, and nothing more,' said Ken Linden, resolutely staring off into the distance. 'But we know it is out there somewhere, and we believe its manifold rewards will be visited upon the children of those able to secure an open spot. Many have faltered in this quest, but we will succeed. We must succeed.'
"'When I close my eyes I can almost envision the quiz bowl team prepping for regional finals,' he added."
From The Onion.
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