"NYC Officials Assure Public Most Puddles Of Bodily Fluid On Streets Not Contaminated With Ebola"

"'I want to emphasize that the pools of vomit, urine, and other fluids people may notice as they walk around the city are very unlikely to be contaminated with Ebola,' said New York City health commissioner Dr. Mary Bassett, adding that such fluids, as well as occasional clumps of feces, were almost certainly not deposited onto the streets and sidewalks by an infected individual."


From The Onion.