"'I should be making a down payment on a house or helping somebody go to college, not paying for cross-country airfare so some moron can go to Bonnaroo,' said another portion of money, explaining how it can barely go a month anymore without being used to book a party bus. 'Back when I was a business loan, I used to hope that maybe someday I'd be the seed capital for the world's next big tech startup, or even just a respectable family store, but instead they loaned me out to a guy who just opened his neighborhood's fifth vape shop.'
"'Thinking about it still makes me feel filthy,' the money added."
From The Onion.
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