"When my grandparents first came to this country seeking a better nightlife, they didn't know any of the right people, and they were certainly never on the guest list. While there were far more clubbing opportunities here than back in the old country, they were often denied admittance simply because of the way they looked and dressed. But they partied hard and persevered. My parents' nightlives were a vast improvement, even though they had little to dance to besides disco and never had access to quality club drugs. Meanwhile, I'm proud to be the first member of my family to get into Club Altitude, and I made sure to take full advantage of that pulsating house music and pure, uncut MDMA. But I want even better for my children."
From The Onion.
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