"Welcome to Autumn, Fuckheads!"

"I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I'm going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, 'Aren't those gourds straining your neck?' And I'm just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, 'It's fall, fuckfaces. You're either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.'"

McSweeney's reposts Colin Nissan's "It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers."