I Know It's Crazy, But Some Days I Feel Like Everybody Is Out To Get Me
By Liz Hawkins
"Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? I sure have. When everything is falling apart and you just can't get ahead, it's like the whole world is out to get you. Today was just like that."
Our Mission Has Been Compromised! Abort!
By Commander Dutch Yancy
"No. No. No. Dear God, this is the moment we feared. She's on to us. Blue Team, pull out! Repeat, PULL OUT. Mission Make Liz Hawkins' Life Insufferable has been compromised. Execute code Omega. Teams Salad Dressing and Minor Computer Malfunctions, abandon your stations. Abandon your stations! This is not a drill. I want you all out of there. Now! Let's move! Move! Move!"
From The Onion.
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